Author Peggy Holloway

In the 1970s there were bumper stickers proclaiming “I Found It.” I knew several people who had this on their car but I never did understand what this “It” was, but “it” must not have worked because “it” went away after awhile.

There have been many “its” over the years and I have tried many of them. I admit I was one of those people who would go around quoting things I read in books or heard someone say on TV. At one time, I was reading 3-6 “self-help” books every week. It took me years to finally think to myself, “None of these people have answers for me. How could they? They aren’t me.”

I’ve also seen people use the magical “It” as an excuse to not take responsibility for themselves.   I’ve heard people say, “I tried group therapy. 'It' didn’t work. I tried AA, 'it' didn’t work. I tried religion, 'it' didn’t work."

After I completed my master’s degree in psychology, I started doing an internship with a psychologist who believed she had found a magical "it."   It was her discovery and she was going to write a book on this technique.  She claimed that none of the other approaches really worked before she invented this technique. She drove me crazy with all these rigid rules about following her techniques. She had patients who had been seeing her for five years and longer and appeared to still be stuck. I finally told her I couldn’t complete my internship with her.  Her enormous ego didn’t take it too well and she tried to tell me I needed help or I wouldn’t feel threatened by her technique.

I’ve seen therapists have their patients do some really weird stuff and the patients blindly follow. I’m talking about adults.

There is no magical “It.” The answers are inside. Look!!!